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Thursday, September 14, 2006 

You Know You are a Computer Geek when...

*You try to enter your password on the microwave.
* You now think of three espressos as "getting wasted."
* You haven't played solitaire with a real deck of cards in years.
* You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.
* Your daughter sells Girl Scout Cookies via her web site.
* You chat several times a day with a stranger from South Africa, but you haven't spoken to your next door neighbor yet this year.
*You didn't give your valentine a card this year, but you posted one for your email buddies via a Web page.
*The concept of using real money, instead of internet shopping, to make a purchase is foreign to you.
*Cleaning up the dining area means getting the fast food bags off your computer desk.
*Your reason for not staying in touch with family is that they do not have e-mail addresses.
*You consider 2nd day air delivery painfully slow.
*You refer to your dining room table as the flat filing cabinet.
*Your idea of being organized is keeping 'My Documents' defraged.
*You find you really need PowerPoint to explain what you do for a living.
*You think a "half-day" means leaving at 5 o'clock.
*You hear most of your jokes via email instead of in person.
*You've made your family pics into icons so you can spend time with them
*Your bookmarks takes 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom
*Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you of what
she looks like
*You have thought up about 100 smiles more clever than :)
*Co-workers have to email you about the fire alarm to get you out of the building
*Every night you tell yourself you will not eat tomorrow's meals with a fork in one hand and a mouse in the other
*You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, as if you just pulled the plug on a loved one
*You see a good web design and still have to change it
*You feel sea-sick and light headed when you finally take those reading glasses off and try to stand up.
*You dream in HTML
*You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word processor.com
*Monday has become your favourite day, back to your free PC with broadband too.
*Friend tells you all about his Cressida V6 ; U reply "Yeah, I had V5, but it was full of bugs!"
*You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading
*Your holiday was ruined … there was no internet café in town
*You take lunch in your office snacking with your chat friends .
*You find u can still get butterflies in your stomach ... the thought of seeing your PC again after your holiday/vacation
*You have prayers said everytime your PC dies.
*You ask your doctor to implant a gigabyte in your brain.
*Youdream of coming back as a cyborg.
*The remote to the T.V. is missing...and you don't even care.
*You're amazed to find out spam is a food
*You've sat 2 inches in front of your screen with a magnifying lens to see how they made the colors
*You have owned a calculator with no equal key and know what RPN stands for
*You've spent consecutive Thursday, Friday and Saturday evenings programming a computer
*You refer to your age as 2.x
*Your I.Q. number is bigger than your weight



 

The Three Letters

When I was hired to run the IT department of a major company my predecessor left three letters in the desk that was now mine. Each letter was clearly labeled; System Failure #1, System Failure #2, System Failure #3. A post-it note was attached to the bundle of letters.

In case of a substantial system failure open the letters in order, once per failure, and they will help you through the problem.



I put the letters back in the desk and forgot about them.

About one year later we had a cascading server failure that left our corporate intranet and several important production servers off-line. While repairing the problem I remembered the letters. Curious, I opened the first letter.

“Blame me, your predecessor”


The day after we got the servers back up I was called in to my boss’s office to explain what happened and why were down for so long. Taking my queue from the letter I blamed my predecessor. My boss was satisfied with my answer and let me go.

About six months down the road we had another big failure. This time our primary database server went down and the secondary was having trouble dealing with the load. I had to put a lot of extra hours into getting them back up and we lost a few transactions due to the backup server not being able to function under the load.

Once again, I reached into that desk drawer and opened letter #2.

“Blame the equipment”


This time I lamented to the boss about how it wasn’t my fault. It was that backup server! If we had some good equipment to run on these things just would not happen. He was satisfied with my answer and I went back to work.

Things ran smoothly for the next 18 months. Then we got hit with a virus that somehow got past our firewall and wrecked havoc on our systems.

I opened the third letter.

“Write three letters”


- Author unknown.

Posted On: http://hmtk.com/blog/index.php?/archives/33-The-Three-Letters.html




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About me

  • I'm Gerald Cortez
  • From San Diego, California, United States
  • A frustrated weightlifter, bodybuilder, a geek in denial, Linux lover, and Open Source supporter.
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