My favorite thing about the Internet is that you get to go into the private world of real creeps without having to smell them.
-Penn Jillett
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
-Author Unknown
The Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless that for some people it is a complete substitute for life.
-Andrew Brown
The telephone wire, as we know it, has become too slow and too small to handle Internet traffic. It took 75 years for telephones to be used by 50 million customers, but it took only four years for the Internet to reach that many users.
- Lori Valigra
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
-Mitch Ratcliffe
Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.
-Doug Larson
640K ought to be enough for anybody.
-Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates, 1981
Computers are magnificent tools for the realization of our dreams, but no machine can replace the human spark of spirit, compassion, love, and understanding.
-Louis Gerstner
Relying on the Government to protect your privacy is like asking a peeping Tom to install your window blinds.
-John Barlow
The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do.
- B. F. Skinner
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
- Andy Rooney
Getting Information off the Internet is like taking a drink from a fire hydrant.
-Mitchell Kapor
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
- IBM Chairman Thomas Watson, 1943
If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.
- Scott Adams
In a few minutes a computer can make a mistake so great that it would have taken many men many months to equal it.
- Anonymous
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee. That will do them in.
- Bradley's Bromide
There are two major products that came out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence.
- Jeremy S. Anderson
One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men. No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man.
- Elbert Hubbard
Any teacher that can be replaced by a computer, deserves to be.
- David Thornburg
Those parts of the system that you can hit with a hammer are called hardware; those program instructions that you can only curse at are called software.
- Anonymous
We live in a society exquisitely dependent on science and technology, in which hardly anyone knows anything about science and technology.
- Carl Sagan
If you tried to read every document on the web, then for each day's effort you would be a year further behind in your goal.
- Anonymous
There might be new technology, but technological progress itself was nothing new - and over the years it had not destroyed jobs, but created them.
- Margaret Thatcher
The last good thing written in C++ was the Pachelbel Canon.
- Jerry Olson
The most overlooked advantage to owning a computer is that if theyfoul up there's no law against whacking them around a little.
- Porterfield
Everything that can be invented has been invented.
- Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899
Any science or technology which is sufficiently advanced is indistinguishable from magic.
- Arthur C. Clarke
Never let a computer know you're in a hurry.
- Anonymous
A year spent in artificial intelligence is enough to make one believe in God.
- Alan J. Perlis
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
- Thomas Edison
Get your feet off my desk, get out of here, you stink, and we're not going to buy your product.
- Joe Keenan, President of Atari, in 1976 responding to Steve Jobs' offer to sell him rights to the new personal computer he and Steve Wozniak developed
The Internet is a great way to get on the net.
- Senator Bob Dole
Computers in the future may have only 1,000 vacuum tubes and perhapsonly weigh 1 1/2 tons.
- Popular Mechanics, 1949
From then on, when anything went wrong with a computer, we said it had bugs in it.
- Rear Admiral Grace Murray Hopper, US Navy
Technology is like fish. The longer it stays on the shelf, the less desirable it becomes.
- Andrew Heller, IBM
AOL is like the cockroach left after the nuclear bomb hits. They know how to survive.
- Jan Horsfall, VP of marketing for Lycos
How could this be a problem in a country where we have Intel and Microsoft?
- Al Gore on Y2K
The modern computer hovers between the obsolescent and the nonexistent.
- Sydney Brenner in 1927
There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in their home.
- Ken Olson (President of Digital Equipment Corporation) at the Convention of the World Future Society in Boston in 1977
During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet.
- Al Gore describing his 1986 legislation to interconnect five supercomputer centers (17 years after the first Internet servers hooked up)
If Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell-check.
- Former Vice President J. Danforth Quayle
The day I made that statement, I was tired because I'd been up allnight inventing the Camcorder.
- Al Gore attempting damage control